Sjove anmeldelser

[Moxy-lady]

Jeg husker at have læst nok verdens sjoveste anmeldelse af 50 Shades - bøgerne. Nu har jeg ikke læst selve bøgerne, men alene det at de har affødt så totalt en nedsabling af en anmeldelse giver den eksistensberettigelse. Og gifs'ne.... Det er prikken over i'et.

1. bog https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/340987215

About halfway through, I wished I'd been keeping track of the word "crap" because Ana is constantly saying/thinking it. Crap, Holy Crap, Double and Triple Crap, Oh Crap, This Crap, That Crap, any and all Crap. Speaking of crap, if I ever, ever ever have to hear/read the words "inner goddess" again, I'm going to construct a pyre out of tampons and maxi pads, light it, and toss unsuspecting women into it.

Word Count:
"Oh My" - 79
"Crap" - 101
"Jeez" - 82
"Holy (shit/fuck/crap/hell/cow/moses)" - 172
"Whoa" - 13
"Gasp" - 34
"Gasps" - 11
"Sharp Intake of Breath" - 4
"Murmur" - 68
"Murmurs" - 139
"Whisper" - 96
"Whispers" - 103
"Mutter" - 28
"Mutters" - 23
"Fifty" - 16
"Lip" - 71
"Inner goddess" - 58
"Subconscious" - 82

2. bog https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/341907930

After the prologue, we're right back in Anastasia's head (it's a good thing there's room for us in there). We're treated to a chapter of her wallowing in depression and self-pity while wasting away because Christian isn't there to remind her that eating is a fundamental aspect of survival. We're also introduced to Ana's new job at SIP, a small publishing company, and to her new boss. Mr. Jack Hyde.

Mr. Hyde? Really?

Psst! He's a villain! It isn't at all obvious, either. Total surprise.

Word Count:
"Oh my" - 47
"Crap" - 36
"Jeez" - 84
"Holy (shit/fuck/crap/hell/cow/moses)" - 124
"Whoa" - 30
"Gasp" - 44
"Gasps" - 17
"Sharp Intake of Breath" - 5
"Murmur" - 91
"Murmurs" - 194
"Whisper" - 140
"Whispers" - 113
"Mutter" - 71
"Mutters" - 48
"Fifty" - 95
"Lip" - 47
"Inner goddess" - 58
"Subconscious" - 59

3. bog https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/347430024

Arguably the best thing to come out of this book was the fun I had discussing butt plugs with my sister-in-law. Yes, there's a sex scene involving a butt plug, and yes, it's both hilarious and disturbing, if for nothing else but E.L. James' refusal to use the word “ass”. Ana is always using the words 'behind' and 'bottom' to describe her other “down there”, and those words do not mesh well with the concept of an anal sex toy. I'm sorry, but hearing about how Christian inserted a butt plug into Ana's 'bottom' made me both uncomfortable and highly amused. Or when he inserted his finger into her 'behind'. No. No. As a child, you have a behind or a bottom, but once you hit about 14 or so, it's your butt or your ass. Only occasionally can the other words be used in reference to an older individual and be gotten away with.
Word Count:
“Oh my” - 52
“Crap” - 46
“Jeez” - 58
"Holy (shit/fuck/crap/hell/cow/moses)" – 108
"Whoa" - 14
"Gasp" - 60
"Gasps" - 15
"Sharp Intake of Breath" - 2
"Murmur" - 115
"Murmurs" - 186
"Whisper" - 194
"Whispers" - 190
"Mutter" - 88
"Mutters" - 38
"Fifty" - 67
"Lip" - 51
“Inner goddess” - 33
“Subconscious” - 48

Gør jer selv den tjeneste at læse dem alle tre

[Moxy-lady]

Samme anmelders blog, hvor hun overall anmelder hele serien - igen med masser af Gifs
http://katastrophiccuriosity.blogspot.d ... se-of.html

[Moxy-lady]

Samme anmelders blog, hvor hun overall anmelder hele serien - igen med masser af Gifs
http://katastrophiccuriosity.blogspot.d ... se-of.html

[Moxy-lady]

Hende her kan VIRKELIG ikke lide Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter serien. Jeg har selv læst de første, men det blev simpelthen for trivielt. Alle elsker AB's vagina, og hun er en special little snow flake.
http://yourheadvoiceisstupid.blogspot.d ... el/ab%3Avh

Bloody Bones opens with Anita being offered a job that only she can do (Anita is SPECIAL! She is like Magic but with guns and a bad attitude!!). Because Anita is magic, she can probably do this job, is probably the only person who can do anything, ever, in the history of everything. Specifically, she has to raise an entire graveyard worth of zombies to settle a land dispute for some property developers.
...

All of this has happened over a 24-hour period, our Anita is very efficient. Also, Anita FINALLY succumbs to Jean-Claude’s wiles. They don’t actually fuck, but there is some heavy petting. Plus, she can now control vampires with necromancy. So yeah, Anita gets more and more magical because that’s what she does. Have a problem? Don’t worry, Anita can fix it because not only does she have an irresistible vagina, she will somehow manifest a new ability to overcome whatever ails you. Next book she reverses global warming (with her vagina), engineers a sustainable, renewable energy source (probably with her vagina), ends all wars (again, probably with her vagina) and makes pies from scratch (hopefully not with her vagina).

[Moxy-lady]

So, by the end of book FOUR OF TWENTY, there are already NINE-FUCKING-TEEN characters you mostly need to keep track of. I don’t even know how many altogether. More. A lot more. I mean, seriously? Why is that big a cast necessary, when at the end of the day, all of them are reduced to barely sentient beings who’s only real thoughts involve “I love Anita,” “I hate Anita,” “I want to have sex with Anita,” or any combination thereof. LKH’s characters are like Ikea furniture: cheap, barely functional, generically pretty, and named something stupid.